From The Mouth Of A Baby

I might be a little person, but mom and dad still took me to the fair. It was fun for a while until I got hungry and started getting tired and crabby. There were lots of people there and mom was happy because there were hardy any bees. It sure was hot with very little shade. Okay, I know my stroller is a way to take me places, but did they have to stick all this junk in my stroller. They were getting free stuff from everywhere and it had to go in my stroller.

I saw something at the fair that was funny. The show was called Grandpa Cratchet. It was so funny and everyone was laughing. Even people with no kids were watching the show. I liked it because he did a scene with a big dog kissing him and I thought he could have been talking about me. Then there was the cat stealing the treats for all the kids. I can relate to that. I think I will like seeing this again next year.

Then mom and dad took me in the animal barns. Boy them pigs and cows stink. It was the most disgusting smell. Dad said that the pigs smelled kind of like my diapers sometimes. I started crying. I was so insulted. Mom gave me the nook and I was quiet again. I still think my dad should say he was sorry for saying that. I mean I am a little person after all.

Dad was drinking a beer, someone knocked into him, and he spilled some beer on me. Now, I think this was smelly, but he just smiled and wiped it off. I could have used a bath because I then smelled like that beer smell. Mom told dad if she got stopped for driving and the cop would smell beer, they would have to say it was me. Sure, blame everything on me.

After a few hours, we went home. They said we were going back on Monday, but I will have to see if I want to or not. If I am crabby we won’t go anywhere, I just know it. I would like to see that Grandpa show again.

Mom was reading a story about a real life account of a little girl that drowned in a Tampa Hotel pool and she died. She told dad to read the story at a parenting blog and he had tears in his eyes. They both said they loved me and they would never let me go by water without one of them watching me. I think the little girl’s parents must be very sad that she is gone.

I had a good day yesterday. Mom and I walked to the mailbox and then she played bowling on the Wii thing. I was in my swing watching her. She is funny when she tries to throw that thing at the television. I was hoping she would not break my daddy’s television. He would be mad, I know.

Mom put me on the floor under this contraption with things hanging down. The colors are pretty, but what am I supposed to do. Mom was making the things move back and forth. She was having fun and I just watched. Then the big dog laid down next to me and gave me a big kiss with his tongue. Yuk, he needs to brush his teeth. He has bad breath. Mom thought it was so cute. He likes me now.

Then the cat tried to come by me and the dog chased it away. Wow, I might want to keep this dog and make the dog get rid of the cat. It was funny. But, mom told the dog to leave the cat alone. When that dog can hear me talk, I will tell him to get that kitty. I was smiling and mom thought I was smiling at her. But, I was smiling because I was thinking about what I can make the dog do to the cat.

I am going to be a handful when I grow up, mom told dad.

We all slept so well together, so it was no wonder that dad woke up late and that started the hectic day. Mom was rushing around to help dad and I was crying because everyone seemed to forget about me, the do was barking to go out and the cat was hungry and meowing for food. Then it happen. The dog pooped on the floor and the cat jumped up and started eating dad’s tuna off his sandwich while he was cleaning up the dog poop. The horrible sound that cat made when dad found it eating his tuna was so loud. The dog didn’t fair much better. He was sent outside and left at the door begging to come in.

Me, I pooped my diaper and it came out the top of the diaper. Boy, did I stink. Dad was running around looking for more dog poop, but it was me. I was laughing and crying at the same time. Dad couldn’t find it. Mom told dad to just go and she would take care of everything. Dad came and picked me up and what happen next, made mom laugh. When dad picked me up, my tee shirt came up and my poop went all over him.

Dad should have just stayed home, but he changed his shirt and went to work. Mom cleaned me up and gave me a bath. I am used to them now since I seem to poop out of my diaper all the time. Maybe they should buy me some different diapers. This is getting to be a bit embarrassing.

I had my bath, got fed and then mom let the dog in the house. Then mom needed a nap, so I let her take a little one while I laid on her. She was tired from the morning events. I think it was funny, but the clean up was lengthy.

The rest of the day, we just laid around the house. It was a nice day outside, but I think mom was tired. She kept saying that she needed to clean the house, but she never got that done either. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to clean the house.

Mom and I went to a park yesterday and she held me while were on a big swing. It looks different from my swing and mom had to hold me. Dad went to work today, so mom decided we go meet some her friends in the park. It was fun. There were other big kids there but they did not play with me. I saw a critter. Mom said it was a bunny rabbit. It was hopping around in the park. Then I saw birds flying around. The bird pooped on the kid on the slide. Everyone was laughing and the kid was crying. It was so funny.

I have learned to sleep on my side. Mom lays me down and I roll on my side. No one believes my mom when she tells them that I like to sleep on my side and I can do it all by myself. I am just a fast learner. My dad and mom sleep on their sides and so do I. I might be little, but when they take that blanket wrap off me, I can move.

Well, it finally happened. The cat jumped in the pack and play with me. That cat laid down next to me and watched me sleep. Mom thinks this is so cute. I think it is discussing. A cat in my sleeping area. Well as long as it stays on the side of me, I guess I will not say anything right now. Her day is coming.

The outing today made me tired. I never slept the entire time we were gone. Mom said that I am a day person. She told her friend as long as I sleep at night she doesn’t care if I stay await during the day. She is getting used to me being around all the time I think. When she wants to do something though, I still want to come along.

When dad came home, he played with me. He is funny. He talks funny to me. Doesn’t he know that I can hear how stupid he sounds? I wish he would just talk normal. He sounds so funny. Yesterday was the best day. I was a happy little girl. And I didn’t make to many messes in my diaper. I was pretty proud of me.

I wrote up with a rash on the back of my neck and it goes up to my head. Dad told grandma and she said it would be wise to take me to the doctor just to make sure. She said she never heard of a baby with a rash on their head. Mom and dad took me to a doctor and he said I have a rash. Well, we all knew that before going. He gave my dad a prescription to rub on it.

My belly button thingy fell off and now I have a rash on my head. I have to take a bath every other day and now the newest thing is dressing me in clothes all the time. Mom is always saying “Don’t spit up on your new clothes.” Well, if she is that worried about the clothes, she should just let me wear my jammies. I am so much more comfortable. Dad had off work today because he took vacation.

He said he wanted to get some stuff done around the house. He took the dog for a walk, bought mom a new chair, and got rid of that love seat thing mom and me lay on. Maybe he is trying to tell her not to lay down so much. Mean daddy.

I am getting big and gaining weight so now they think I can go longer without a bottle. I still get hungry in three hours for sure. I like my swing, but I never fall asleep in it. No one can figure me out. Everyone keeps saying that babies fall asleep in the swings. Not me, I stay awake and keep my eye on my mom.

I can see wherever she goes. If she leaves my sight, I let out a loud cry so she comes running back to me. She told dad that I was a little dickens. What name is that now? My name is Alivia. What is a little dickens?

The day was quiet because mom and I just laid around the house. We watch The Price Is Right and some soap operas. Mom even typed on the computer, but she told dad it was hard to type holding me. I laugh when she says things like that. I have her just where I want her.

Now for the cat. That cat keeps coming by mom and me and rubbing on me and mom pets her. That cat is so big and I am still little. Just wait until I get bigger than the cat. I will teach it who is boss. I have plans for that dog as well. Just wait, I am going every day.

It was another early night for us because everyone was tired. Dad was mad again because that convention thing was on television. Lights out for us at 9 PM again.

I was a good girl last night. I woke up twice and then I went right back to sleep. My mom was so happy. Dad said I was such a good girl. Everyone was so happy with me. It is a nice feeling when everyone talks to sweet to me. Even the dog looked pleased with me. I still think the dog is trying to get rid of me, but he is playing it cool in front of mom and dad.

I am a stinker mom said to dad. I don’t know why she said that but, I must have done something. Dad had to go to work, so mom and I got to play outside in the sun. I was in my stroller and mom was playing in the dirt. She was pulling weeds out of the ground she told the neighbor lady. That neighbor lady sure is nosey. She was asking all kinds of questions about me.

I was a good girl outside. Mom was so happy that I was so content. Little kids were coming to see me and other ladies. Everyone always wants to touch me. Why do people do that? I don’t want germs, just look at me and don’t touch. That one boy was dirty. He looked like he rolled in the mud. Mom was laughing at him. I didn’t think it was so funny when he touched me and got me dirty.

We had to take breaks and go in the house so I could eat, but mom would always take me back outside. I even managed to take a few naps. It was the fresh air that made me tired. Mom got tired and we went into the house so she could take a nap. I already took a nap, so I was wide-awake. I don’t think she was very happy. When dad came home, he had to watch me so mom could take a nap.

Mom and dad had supper and then they played a bowling game on television. It was funny watching them. Why do grown-ups like to baby games on television. It was a relaxing night and we were all tired so we went to bed at 9 PM. Dad was mad because he wanted to watch some TV and that Democratic Convention was one. My dad said some bad words and I heard them.

Dad turned off the TV and we went to sleep.

Everyone came to visit me. Grandma came to see me. Then the other grandma and grandpa came. Then grandpa and my other grandma came to see me. Then great grandma came to see me. My aunt on my dad’s side came to see me and she brought along another baby girl that is about a month older than I am. It was so crowded in our house.

Everyone was talking about me, as if I wasn’t even in the room. They talked about my long legs. They talked about me not wanting to sleep and they even talked about how much I poop. I thought that my body functions could be kept under wraps, but mom is a talker. She loves to talk about me, but that was going a bit to far.

I was the center of attention. I didn’t cry at all. I was happy to be held and talked to. Mom was doing things in the other room and dad just sat on the couch handing me off to everyone that walked in the door. I was so happy no one dropped me. You should see how clumsy some people are when handing me off to the next person.

I think they forget I am a little person and my neck isn’t strong enough for me to hold up my own head. I hope that problem goes away soon. All of them older people thought I was a doll or something. I was happy, so it was okay.

I did enjoy having a conversation with my new friend. She said that her mom and dad are just like mine. They have a dog also. She has a brother that is five or six she thinks. We both got hungry at the same time. We were crying for our food. Guess what, everyone left when we started crying. That was funny.

I forgot to tell you that I slept almost all night. I went to bed at 10 PM and I slept until 4 PM. Mom was telling everyone about that. She was saying she was happy I slept longer. She always wants me to sleep.

Anyway, at night mom and dad were tired from all the company we had, so we went to bed early and I fell asleep right away. I was exhausted.

I am growing mom told dad. I gained weight, but my hair isn’t growing. I wish I wasn’t so bald. Mom told grandma that I have cradle cap. What is this now? Some junk on my head. Mom put baby oil in my peach fuzz hair. Oh, it feels so strange. I wish she would wash it off. I don’t know why I have so many problems. My belly button thingy is falling off. I hope that is supposed to do that.

I only woke up a couple times during the night, so mom was happy. She still looks like she needs more sleep. I wonder how long she slept before she had me. I can go longer than two hours now, but my tummy still gets hungry and I wake up crying. Dad said I will sleep through the night pretty soon. I don’t know why I have to sleep all night.

Yesterday was fun day. Mom put me in a swing. I have my own swing in my house. This was fun for a little while. I heard mom tell grandma that most babies fall asleep in the swing, but not me. I am the strong one. I am not going to fall asleep in the swing. Mom is always looking for ways to put me down and get me to sleep. She should give up because I am not interested in sleeping or being put down.

Since it is the weekend, dad does not have to work. He was playing with the dog. I think he should be playing with me, but no, that dog had all his attention. Right before dinner, mom had to go to the store. She told dad to take good care of me. Everything was going good until I pooped. My dad is pretty good at changing wet diapers, but he is not so good with poopy diapers. He gags a lot when he changes my diaper. I think it is so funny. Mom always laughs at him and then she takes over. This time, mom was gone. It was going to be a long process.

When mom came home, dad told her what I did and that he had to change me. She laughed so hard. She was teasing him because he cleans up that dog’s poop, but gags when he changes me. That is just another reason the dog has to go. After dinner mom, dad and me took a walk. It was warm outside and I had fun.

Then it was time for bed and I got to sleep with mom and dad again. I sleep better when I between mom and dad. I am so warm and comfortable.

See you tomorrow when I will tell you about my day on Sunday.

I slept a lot last night. Mom said she was happy that I only woke up two times and then I went back to sleep right away. I guess that is why I got to go with mom to the store. She told dad that she needed some new clothes and he gave her all this money. I wish I knew what to buy. Maybe he could give me some money. It was so easy for mom to get it.

We left after mom gave me a bath again and dressed me in clothes I had a bottle so I was quite content. I rode in the car with mom, but she made me sit in the back seat. I wanted to sit in front. Why do I have to ride in the back all by myself? The ride was kind of fun. I could feel some bumps, but otherwise, it was all right.

When we got to the store, mom took me in my carrier and put me in this big thing she called a shopping cart. There were lots of noises and people I never met saying how cute I was. I was getting scared. Ladies were touching me and saying how sweet I was and how cute I was. I had enough. I wanted to go back home and mom was not listening.

Pouting was not getting her attention, so I started crying really loud. I was scared and I wanted to go home now. Needless to say, mom had to take me home. I like this crying thing to get my way. It could come in handy in the future. I could tell mom was upset, but she still loves me.

When dad got home, she told him what I did. He kind of smiled until he looked at mom’s face. She was not amused. She told him to watch me so she could go shopping. He said he would take me for a walk in my stroller. Guess who had to come along? That darn dog had to come with us. Yes, I am always competing with a dog.

It was a nice walk. It was warm and I was happy. Dad and I made supper and when my mom came home, she was so happy. Well, she was until a pooped again. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but my poop seems to come out my diaper and get all over. I try to go a little at a time, but then she has to change me so much. I can’t win with this poop.

Well, the nighttime was quiet. We all watched television. Dad played with me and mom played that guitar thing again. Dad held me while he was on the thing called a computer. He was playing a game that was really scary. I was good though, since my dad had me in hi lap.

Then it was time for bed. I will let you know how tonight went tomorrow. I hope I can sleep a lot again.

Yesterday morning was probably the best time of the entire day. The rest of the day was fuzzy since my eyes were clouded with tears. Yes, I needed a good cry. Mom kept trying to put me down and I would just cry so hard. I wanted to be held. She is so warm and I need her to hold me. Mom and dad have been holding me since I was born. Now dad goes to work and mom wants to put me down all the time. I did not care for that at all.

When dad got home from work, mom told him to hold me so she could take a shower, make supper and start some wash. Why couldn’t she do that with me around? I would have been happy to have her show me how she cooks, showers or does wash. She sounded a bit upset when she told my dad that every time she put me down I cried and cried, until she picked me up.

Dad was hungry and he seemed a bit crabby because he did not have anything to eat for supper. I had a bottle and I was content. I think whatever they are giving me is making me sick or something. I pooped all day and even spit up on myself a couple times. The cat litter box was a bit stinky today also. Mom told dad that he should start scooping it until I get a little older.

I hope she doesn’t mean she is going to make me scoop it when I get a little older. I don’t want that darn cat. It scares me. I know that cat has it in for me. It keeps looking at me with them funny eyes. It tried to climb in mom’s lap where I was sitting. This cat has to go. The dog slept all day. It would open its eyes and look at me when I cried, but it stayed on the floor in front of mom’s feet.

Dad and mom finally had supper and then we all settled in for the night. I finally wanted to sleep about 8 PM, so we all went to bed. I laid there awake for a while and then I fell asleep I guess.